- I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.- No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends.
- After a break-up, certain street, locations, even times of day are off-limits. The city becomes a deserted battlefield, loaded with emotional landmines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces.
- You should go through life like I do - not expecting men to fill you up, except when, well, you know.
- Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls: because they can.
- I do not pick the wrong guys. They pick me.
- I don't wear vintage clothes. I hate flea markets. I don't collect antiques. Is it too much to ask that he not be... I don't know... used?
- And then I realized something, twenty-something girls are just fabulous, until you see one with the man who broke your heart.
- Your girl is lovely, Hubble.
- I don't get it.
- And you never did.
- An hour later I had solved the unsolvable friendship equation. It seems the answer is this: cosmopolitans plus scotch equals friendship with an ex.
- There is no way that the love that I had with Big is the same thing that he has with Natasha.
- "Natasha"? When did you stop calling her "the idiot stick figure with no soul"?
- I've never been able to be friends with any man. Why would I? Women are for friendships, men are for fucking.
- From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.
- Well, let's just say it: you won.
- Was there a contest?
- Oh please! There's always a contest with an ex. It's called "who will die miserable."
- I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck.
- Hey, have you got a light?
- I quit.
- Aw, we always used to share a cigarette together.
- We did a lot of things that were bad for me together.
- There'll be no next time. This is going to be like Bridges of Madison Avenue, a very brief affair I'll write about in sappy letters to my grandchildren.
- We're so over, we need a new word for over.
- Later that night, I got to thinking about men, and women and relationships. Or more to the point, how women feel men disappoint them in relationships. Then a radical, almost earth-shattering thought popped into my head. What if everything isn't the man's fault? After a certain age, and a certain number of relationships; if it still isn't working and the ex's seem to be moving on and we don't, perhaps the problem isn't the last boyfriend, or the one before him, or even the one before him! Could it be, that the problem isn't them, but horror of horrors - is it us?
- People say 'Everything happens for a reason.' These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a 'Goodbye,' But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something.
- Well, it's funny you should mention that Billy, because, actually, there is. You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman, to her face, that you no longer want to see her. Call me crazy but, I think that, you can make a point of ending your relationship in a manner that does not include an e-mail, a doorman, or a missing persons report. I think you could all get over your fear of looking like the bad guy and actually have the uncomfortable break-up conversation. Because, here's what: avoiding that, is what makes you the bad guy. And just so you know, Alan... [...Andrew...] Uh huh. Most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. We just want an ending to a relationship that... that is thoughtful and decent and honors what we had together. So my point, Billy, is this: there is a good way to break-up with someone, and it doesn't include a post-it!
- He was funny. And cute.
- Yeah, and in town for a week! What's the point?
- That IS the point! It's the best possible scenario, because you know he's leaving. - But it's like whatever happens, there's an expiration date. It's expiration dating.
- You do this every time! Every time! What do you have, some kind of radar? 'Carrie might be happy, it's time to sweep in and shit all over it!'
- Forget you know my number, in fact, forget you know my name... and you can drive down the street all you want, because I don't live here anymore!
- I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.
- It took me a really long time to get here, but I'm here. Carrie, you're the one.
- But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.
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